Stop Waiting for Permission book review

Disclaimer: This post has to do with Vacation Education and homeschooling only in so much as I set an example of being a lifelong learner to my children, by always reading new books and looking for ways to learn new things myself. This particular post is a rant about a book I read and didn't like. Just FYI before you dive in.

 I thought this book would be therapeutic. I thought it would address the nagging insecurities we all have about reaching for something great. But, it wasn't therapeutic at all. It was annoying, all the way through to the very end.

I would have returned it to the library after a couple of chapters, except I have this thing about finishing books I start. I can count on one hand the books I've started to read and refused to finish. I want to keep it that way. I believe in giving an author a chance to make his point, to hear him out all the way to the very end. So, I gave it a chance, all the way to the end. 

I wanted it to be hopeful. I wanted it to be written for me, the reader - don't we all want that in our books? But, this book was not written for the reader, it was written as an autobiographical memoir of how this author achieved the greatness he believed God had inside of him. Even that might have been inspiring, except that his great dream was to one day pastor a church with 1000 people in attendance.

Even that I could look past, mostly, although it did bother me. Not because he wanted to be a pastor, or because of the actual number of people he wanted to come, but because his idea of success is a number.

He does address the reader, and tells us that we too can have successful businesses, better marriages, better children, if we just channel the greatness we all have inside of us and trust God... well, that's not a fair assessment; he says we must also do lots of research, educate ourselves in the area we want to achieve greatness, seek out mentors who have achieved the greatness we hope to achieve, surround ourselves with a team of people who all believe in the dream as much as we do, and push through challenges that get in our way. Maybe he's right. If we did all those things, we would probably find success in our journey too. But, how do we measure success? Using the American business model? If 1000 people show up, then we've made it?

Maybe I should have known from the cover picture? He doesn't look like the guy I would ask for Mom advice, but he is a pastor, so I hoped the book would be written from a pastoral perspective. By that, I mean, like a Shepherd who cares for the needs of the sheep. 

He quotes a lot of little Scripture tidbits to prove that God is on your side if you do these things he suggests. He praises marketing ploys like helicopter egg drops. And, maybe this rubs me the wrong way because I believe, teach, and confess that without Word and Sacraments, there is no church. 

His ideas about how to grow a business, and even how to get more people to show up to your church - things like move to a different city, hire better accountants, eliminate leaders who aren't on board with your vision, etc are all probably reasonable pieces of business advice, and 1000 people showing up is reasonably successful in a business model, but it doesn't make a church. And, if it's just a book of business advice, it's not that good either because it's primarily about what worked in his particular circumstances.

I think when I looked at the cover sitting in the new books display at my library, I thought of Waiting for Permission as things like always making sure others are taken care of before doing what I need to do. Things like, it's okay to say 'no' to a tenth piggyback ride so I can write, or it's okay not to respond to the person who has sent fifteen texts in a row about something that was already answered, so I can write. It's okay to leave the dishes for someone else to wash so I can write. I was looking for encouragement in those things.

That's not what this is. I think my dislike for this book comes from something more than just our theological differences though. His ideas of success being evident by big crowds showing up to hear him speak is vastly different from my ideas about being a place where the Pastor is not the main attraction, where we come to receive the gifts of God in Word and Sacrament and for the forgiveness of sins. 

This author says it is his God given purpose to motivate and encourage others to find the greatness that God has put inside of them. That may be. And, perhaps he is a great motivational speaker. But, that is not the purpose of a pastor. A pastor stands in the stead of Christ and announces the forgiveness of sins to the repentant, he goes to the sick and dying and takes the message of forgiveness to them, he sits with and prays with the mourning, and reminds them that their loved ones are not lost forever but we will be reunited in eternity. The "successful" church is the one that is there for you when you are born and need to be baptized - giving you Christ, it is there for you when you are young and need to be catechized - giving you Christ,  it is there for you when you want to be married - giving you Christ, it is there for you when you have children of your own - giving you Christ, it is there for you when you are dying - giving you Christ, and it is there for all the joys and sorrows in between - always giving you Christ.

Along with other authors, who focus on finding your "purpose" in life, his main idea is not the need for forgiveness of sins. In fairness, he does tell his readers to make Jesus the most important thing in their lives in the last chapter, but beyond a comforter who will help you find peace and comfort when your struggling to fulfill your purpose, he doesn't tell us the reason we NEED Jesus - forgiveness of sins.

If I measured the success of a church by butts in the seats, I might rejoice with him when he becomes the senior leader of a conglomeration of churches that boasts 4000 in attendance all combined. And, considering how often people ask me how many people attend the church I go to, perhaps many others will to. But, my own cynicism begs the question - are all those people showing up and getting what they truly need? or are they just notches in the belt of a man who prides himself on learning the best way to market to them?

Lastly, he is young. I have learned over years of parenting that 20-somethings with young children, who generally behave the way we like, usually feel like they have it all figured out (I certainly did when I was that age.) But, as we get older, we often realize that we were not as wise as we thought we were then, with our limited view on the world.

A little church in an African village is not "unsuccessful" if they aren't marketing to the other villages and getting people to walk all day to attend their services. The average church in a city neighborhood is not "unsuccessful" if they aren't marketing in a way that draws people out of the churches in other neighborhoods to come to their show instead. I think that his perspective would change if he had time to experience the familial relationships that exist and grow over decades in a congregation of a hundred people who have known each other and stood by each other through generations of births, deaths, and every life experience in between. A pastor of 4000+ people does not have the ability to sit at the side of a parishioner in the hospital, or take communion to all the shut-ins... does an assembly that large even have shut-ins? or are they just people who stopped attending and were forgotten because they didn't "share the vision"

Okay. I admit this book bothered me more than it should have. Rant over.

If you are looking for a book that will give you some Biblical catch phrases to motivate you to work harder toward your personal goals, then this might do it for you. But, it's not for me.